Unplugged

Our Valentine's Day weekend getaway was amazing. We stayed at the Elias Child House in Woodstock, CT, an antique home dating back to the very early 1700s. The house has original details including a fireplace in every room. We enjoyed spending more time exploring the Quiet Corner and just being still - a favorite activity was simply watching the sunset over the fields out our window while sipping some champagne or wine. They also had wonderful hiking trails through their 50 acre property and neighbors' lands as well. It was a wonderful slow-down escape.



We also spent a fair amount of time with the B&B owners, MaryBeth and Tony, and the other couples staying for the weekend. (Cue the "It's a Small World" music: one of the three other couples lives literally two blocks from us.) We enjoyed long lingering breakfasts (after about 1.5 hours one morning I actually was like ok I neeeeed to get moving...) and also spent a really fun and unique night bottling our own wine at a local vineyard, Taylor Brooke Winery. The night did get a tiny bit rowdy as the wine flowed and the hours passed, but the room got quiet as each new course of the gourmet dinner was served and people savored the food (and wine).

When we returned home, I did not want to be on the computer. But, almost a week later, I am up early on a Saturday morning and looking for something to do before breakfast, so I think my internet hiatus is over.

The only downside of the weekend: we forgot our cameras. (Neither of us remembered to pack one!) So we have no pictures to share. Or at least no pictures that we can share at this time -- I did take pictures on my cell phone, which has a decent camera and even has its own microdisc like the regular camera. However, I cannot for the life of me figure out how to get those pictures off of the phone and onto my computer now... grr! Any ideas?

Valentine's in the Quiet Corner

D and I will be leaving shortly for our weekend getaway. We'll be staying at the Elias Child House and enjoying some fun activities, including a wine tasting and wine making evening at a local vineyard. In between our evenings at the B&B, we'll address some wedding odds and ends and we're also bringing skis and snowshoes just in case :)

Happy Valentine's Day!

In-Between Moments

I've been really anxious about several aspects of our wedding since we started planning, but my biggest worry has undoubtedly been making sure our guests all feel important and included. I am afraid that some guests will be upset if they travel a great distance and only see us for a few minutes at the reception. My fear started after our engagement party, an event with fewer people than the actual wedding, where I still felt pulled in a million directions and deeply regret not being able to spend more time with certain people. Our reception is only five hours. (Yes, that sounds like a long time, but pictures will eat up some of our time there, our official parent dances will eat up more, we are hoping to eat some of the Buttery's yummy food, and we also would like to have a couple of dances without the spotlight on us.) And within those five hours, we have well over a hundred people with whom we want to spend time. Over a hundred people with whom we probably want to spend the entire time. Over a hundred people who will have traveled to celebrate our wedding and spend time with us. I want them all to leave our wedding weekend feeling like an integral part of our celebration. I don't want any guests to feel like they searched all night for us only to receive a quick hug and thank you for coming speech.

D and I are planning a holiday weekend wedding and our hope from the start has been that friends and family will come up and spend several days with us, enjoying various activities. While we don't have the budget to pay for multiple activities, we can at least organize simple events (like apple picking, wine tasting, hiking, etc.) for other days. However, we wonder if people will actually arrive early/stay late and join in these additional optional activities.

I have been reading a blog called 2000 Dollar Wedding (their story is awesome!) for a while and while the author, Sara, always provides great tips and offers advice on tough planning dilemmas, one post a few days ago really resonated with me. She described certain "in-between moments" during her wedding weekend -- those moments between the "major events" -- where she and her now-husband spent high quality time with guests.

Her wording captured the essence of what Dave and I have been hoping to accomplish with our additional activities and her post illustrated the importance of these moments. I shared it with Dave and we agreed this was a concept we wanted to highlight for our guests so they could understand why these optional activities are on the agenda and why we really want to see them there. Hopefully these events will allow the guests who attend to spend time with us and also meet each other. And hopefully our reception will feel less like quick hellos to guests and more like a succession of congratulatory hugs from people with whom we're in the midst of spending a wonderful weekend.

And then we won't feel too bad stealing away on a private hayride... for just a few minutes... :)

Super Bowl Fun

D and I have been getting more into entertaining. Or maybe I was the weakest link before (when I was still at the firm) and now I am up to speed with entertaining. In any event, we've had fun going out with new people, having a dinner club with my bestest old friends and also inviting more people to our place for various occasions.

For the Colts/Saints game, we decided to host a Super Bowl party, complete with some themed food. The recipes were well-received, and sound pretty yummy for a cold snowy day like today. I've been thinking about posting recipes on this blog anyway, to keep me accountable on my new cooking kick, so maybe this is a good way to start.

For the Saints: Bourbon-Glazed Chicken Wings from Bon Apetit, February 2010:

2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) butter
1 cup chopped onion
3 garlic cloves, peeled, thinly sliced (we used 3 teaspoons of minced pre-prepared garlic)
1 cup bourbon, divided
1 cup ketchup
1/2 cup hot pepper sauce (the wings were not too spicy at all, so you might want to use more!)
1/4 cup tomato paste
3 tablespoons (packed) golden brown sugar
30 chicken pieces (c. 4 pounds)

Melt butter in heavy large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add onion and garlic; sauté until golden, about 5 minutes. Add 3/4 cup bourbon; boil until most of liquid is absorbed, 6 to 8 minutes. Whisk in 1/4 cup bourbon, ketchup, hot pepper sauce, tomato paste, and brown sugar. Bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer until sauce thickens slightly, stirring occasionally, about 10 minutes. Season marinade with salt and pepper. Remove marinade from heat; cool to room temperature.

Place chicken pieces in 15 x 10 x 2-inch glass baking dish. Pour marinade over and turn pieces to coat. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

Preheat oven to 375°F. Line baking sheet with foil or parchment paper. (We didn't and it still wasn't too bad to clean.) Place cooling rack atop prepared baking sheet. Arrange pieces on rack, spacing slightly apart. Spread any remaining marinade from dish over chicken. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Bake chicken (still on cooling rack) until cooked through and brown in spots, about 45 minutes.

Serve on platter with Blue Cheese Sauce: a cup of blue cheese (we used gorgonzola) crumbles to a cup of sour cream (we used light). Can mix in chopped parsley too. Add celery (and/or carrot) sticks if you're so inclined. Enjoy!

Colts: Tater Tot Casserole (Gotta love the midwestern casseroles!)

1 lb. ground beef
1 onion
1 bag tater tots
2 cans cream of chicken soup
Shredded cheddar cheese to taste

Preheat oven to 350. Chop onion and brown onion and beef in skillet until cooked (sprinkle salt and pepper if desired). Take 13x9 baking dish, spray Pam on bottom, then layer beef and onion mixture. Spread some cheddar cheese (to taste) as next layer. Put between 1 and 2 full cans of cream of chicken soup (again, to taste) as third layer. Arrange tater tots as fourth layer. More shredded cheddar, to taste, as fifth layer. Bake at 350 or so for about 20 minutes. Enjoy!

I quite enjoyed my first time eating a tater tot casserole - or honestly, a tater tot for that matter. Now, as of today, back to healthier eating for a while. Or maybe starting tomorrow - I'm watching the snow fall outside the windows and as the world gets whiter, I think some hot chocolate is calling my name!

8 Months

8 months from today, at just about this time, our wedding will be over, the reception will be winding down and our married life will be just beginning. It's a somewhat surreal thought -- even though D and I sometimes feel married, it's still pretty intense to imagine the actual commitment.


[Photo from Colonial Meetinghouses of New England]

Last night, D and I starting working through materials sent by our celebrants-to-be. We have some readings we really like and want to incorporate and they have some great ideas for other elements of our ceremony.

We also worked through some ceremony music. I love love love Pachelbel's Canon and have since I was young, before I knew it was a traditional song for a bride's entrance. I always imagined I would walk down the aisle to that song. But as bride after bride walked to it in movie after movie, I started to feel ambivalent about it. I still loved the song, but I was not sure about having that be THE song. Then, last night, we had a bit of an inspiration and thought up a bunch of songs for the ceremony. Dave's long-time music teacher will be our pianist and can rock out any songs we select. I remembered a song Dave learned for me early on when we were dating(one which this same teacher helped him learn) and we thought about whether that might work for a bridal entrance. After some thinking, we're hoping to have Dave's teacher rework that song for a perfectly us entrance.

Wonderful Friday Surprise

As an update on this post, I got some big news yesterday!

The Dress has arrived! She (I have to call her she because she's just so pretty!) is safe and sound at a little bridal salon I found in Bethel, CT. Yes, she is about 8 months early (4 actually because of our delayed wedding date) but she's here! I called my mom at work as soon as I got the call yesterday and we got all giddy. Then I spent a bit of time going through pictures to really refresh my mind.

The timing of her arrival is funny. I had called the salon the day before to see if she was there yet. No, not yet, but we'll call you. Then the night before I had an awful dream involving a Jersey-Shore-style dress that showed up in her place... actually made out of cotton jersey fabric, and with scraps hanging down ala the scissors style some of the Jersey Shore girls seem to favor. (I searched for a picture but couldn't find one to really capture the trashiness of the dress from my dream.) That nightmare actually woke me up in the middle of the night!

Now the shaping up process must commence in earnest - fittings start in about 6 months. I've heard The Shred and P90X are intense (at least I think those are the names). I used to be a runner and I also would like to incorporate yoga into my routine -- all the stress-busting help I can cram in will be much needed as October approaches.

By the way, the salon where I ordered my dress is Occasions in Bethel, CT. Occasions is a cute little shop I found randomly while I was working in town one day. Gail, the owner, is so sweet and great to work with. The store itself sells wedding gowns, bridesmaid dresses, mother-of-the-bride dresses, prom dresses, shoes, accessories, etc. That being said, it is a small store. It is not fancy. The selection was great for what I was looking for - they carry unique dresses I didn't find elsewhere, and also try not to sell people the same dress who might cross paths - but Occasions is not Kleinfeld's or the like. No glamorous chandeliers or private fitting areas. In fact, as one review I read (after the fact) suggested, yes you will likely see other brides, especially if you go on a Saturday. And you may end up having to switch off in front of the two mirrors because each gives you a different perspective. As someone who always prized getting-ready time with my girls, this didn't bother me. In fact, it was rather fun to trade opinions with other girls and their moms. But I could see how some people want more privacy. And it might be awkward if two girls loved the same dress and had to wait for it to shuttle back and forth, and even more awkward if they had different body types! I never felt rushed, Gail put me in any and all dresses I expressed a desire to try on and she allowed me to come in three successive times to decide between two dresses when I just couldn't decide. (I knew in my heart which dress was the one, but second-guessed myself for a bit... I always struggle to actually make the final call on a big decision like that.) I'll update more about The Dress and Gail and her store as the fittings process commences.

Presenting... the Golden Lamb Buttery!

(a.k.a. our happy place)



Happiness is looking out over fields and a pond at brilliant-colored fall foliage. Happiness squared is looking out over fields and a pond at brilliant-colored fall foliage while sitting in a cozy rocking chair enjoying a drink :)

The Buttery itself is an old farm, now converted into a restaurant:



The inside is full of rustic decor and family memorabilia (the farm and restaurant have been in the same family for generations):



It also smells like hay, which I adore!!

We're hoping for good weather so guests can enjoy the porches and scenery looking over the back of the barn:



The Buttery is full of charm and quirks. See http://www.thegoldenlamb.com/ for more artful pictures! (The ones in this post are just a few of the dozens D and I have taken on our many trips there.)

How did we end up moving our wedding from a reception hall by the water in our own backyard to a barn/restaurant in the opposite corner of the state? By accident. Or as I like to think of it, by fate or divine intervention or the like.

We found the place completely by accident. D had been looking for restaurants to try when we hike upstate and he stumbled across an old New York Times article about the Buttery. When our original venue backed out, neither of us had liked any of the other venues in our hometown area and we decided to venture further upstate. As we were planning a trip to check out venues across the state, something clicked in D's mind and he suggested we check this place out, at least as a place to eat.

And we fell. in. love. Or at least I did. I wasn't sold on it as a wedding venue - even if you know you don't want a run-of-the-mill WIC wedding, it's still hard to go so drastically in the other direction - but the smell of the barn, the beautiful views, the warm and incredibly accommodating staff, and yes, the AMAAAAZING food, all sold us quickly.

We knew we wanted to spend more time there. A lot more. We discussed it as a rehearsal dinner venue. But we realized we didn't want only a few of our friends and family - those in the wedding - to experience it. We wanted everyone to feel the specialness of the Buttery. And when it came down to it, we wanted a wedding where down the road we could tell our kids about this totally offbeat venue we found, how much fun we had there, and how it's ok to not follow the path most people expect you (and many often "strongly encourage" you) to take.

We didn't decide that day. Two more trips followed in quick succession. We scheduled the first the next weekend to see a wedding taking place there so we could get a sense of the flow. Then we took our parents up the next weekend to get them comfortable with the idea. D's parents were on board it seemed from the get-go. My mom required a bit more work. She raised some questions - legitimate logistical ones - that we are still grappling with to date. For example, the Buttery has several rooms, so how do we make all guests feel included? And the tables are all different configurations - how do we do seating?

In the end, though, our parents saw we were happy there. We had tried the "make the decision and live with it for a day" strategy advocated by my grandma and mom, and had realized no other venue felt right and the Buttery was the one we kept going back to. We felt ready. So with our parents watching, we wrote one of those wonderful wedding checks that you have to take a deep breath as you re-read and count the zeros. And just like that, we were booked!

Now, a few months later, we know we made the right decision. There is no second-guessing as there was with our original venue. And we keep getting excited about the fun and unique little touches our wedding will include. One of our favorite touches:



That's right, hayrides! With drink service! What could be better??

Writing this has gotten me all giddy and ready to swing into planning mode again - so I'll harness some of that energy and get back in touch with more vendors! In the meantime, if any readers know the area or (total wishful thinking) have had weddings in the area, PLEASE send vendor recommendations our way! It is superhard to find good people when you don't have a network!

Reflections from a Spa Day

Yesterday, my former boss took me to the spa as a goodbye present. We ended up spending quite a bit of time on our own in separate rooms, which was sad because we didn't have all the girl time, but it also gave me lots of time to reflect as the stress floated away.

I found myself thinking about the whole wedding planning process and how much stress is crammed into each decision. Little details can suddenly take on a world of importance - what if we don't have flowers decorating the meeting house?? Will it be too plain? Will people focus on the absence of the flowers rather than the presence of centuries-old wood floors and pews? If we do have flowers will it make the meeting house just another wedding-decorated church?

It's funny to think that had our "original" wedding gone through, we never would have thought about choices like this. We would have had a much more standard wedding - one very much in line with "WIC" ("Wedding Industrial Complex" - a term I've seen on wedding blogs) preferences. It might have been easier, but certainly would have been less "us." We would have decorated my home church, as well as the tables at the reception hall, with lovely arrangements. We wouldn't have thought to question that.

But our new venue is a wonderful restaurant on a farm (our venue deserves and will get its own post soon!), and they grow their own flowers which will be scattered on tables for our wedding dinner. So we started thinking about whether we need - or even want - to purchase flowers just for the ceremony. It might dress up the church, but it will be hard to "match" the decor for the reception. After all, I haven't found too many florists who specialize in home-grown, just-picked, mismatched-jars-as-vases arrangements.

As I've been writing this post, I think I may have found the root of the problem. We don't want the "traditional" arrangements, but some scattered ones to match the reception decor might be nice. Perhaps we can pick some zinnias from the "Zinnia Guy," who grows a huge patch of them right behind the Inn where we will be staying throughout our wedding weekend.


[Check out the gorgeous homegrown zinnias in the lower left corner of this picture we took of one of the Inn's fireplaces.]

Perhaps as the girls and I get ready, we can pop some flowers into a few vases and send them toward the meeting house a bit ahead of us? That might give us the bit of color that would be a nice touch (and help tie the ceremony together with the reception) but not be a distraction from the simplicity of the meeting house.

They say when you find "The One," you know...

And in my case they were right. And Ms. Right was the first one I tried on at the first store I went to. I looked for others but nothing compared. So I bought her last August.

As it turns out, I purchased her for the wrong wedding. When I found her, we were having a summer beach wedding, but glammed up. Now we're getting married in a meeting house dating to the 1700s, followed by a reception in a barn, complete with hayrides. While I wouldn't trade our "real" wedding for anything (and I'm glad we were blessed with the chance for a "do-over"), I have a bit of thinking to do to make sure Ms. Right fits in with all the scenery of the day!

Any tips for how to dress up/dress down a dress in general? (I can't show pics because D will be reading this...)

(Non)Planning

By this point, (most of) the biggest details are set. We have our ceremony location, my dress, our reception venue and food, our photographer, some places for people to stay, and possibly even our colors (although not decided in that order). We are talking to officiants and DJs, and have about 2 dozen library books of potential honeymoon destinations scattered throughout our house. We're 8 months and a week out. We're doing well.

But we're definitely taking our time with all the planning. People keep asking "What about the music?" "What about the flowers?" "You have a reception but no ceremony?" And people keep getting engaged -- and surpassing us in both planning and wedding dates -- but still we drift on.

Perhaps our "nonplanning" is driven by the idea of moving with the current, going with the flow, central to the "Tao Te Ching" D and I both love. (He read it, thought it might benefit this Type A attorney and gave me the "Tao of Pooh" to start.)

Perhaps we are less driven to plan because we already planned -- at least in part -- our "original" wedding, one that ended up falling through due to a wonderful vendor who shall remain nameless...

But whatever the reason, our spreadsheet and old-fashioned calendar haven't actually changed our planning speed much. We see the dates and watch them pass, Excel tells us "Yes" things are overdue, we talk about times to talk about each element. But then life gets in the way. Momentum flows against us. I leave my job. We plan a Valentine's Day vacation. We get sidetracked after we're introduced to the "Jersey Shore." (Maybe that deserves it's own entry... as if enough people haven't already said what we're thinking!)

I know our wedding will come together. I've read (and shared with D) enough wedding blog entries reminding us to enjoy the process of joining our lives and to let the little things go if they will be more stress than they're worth. This is good advice and words we want to remember as we dive deeper into the wedding planning fray. And we have little moments, like we did last weekend, when we revel in the planning. As we take a walk down a quiet country road as the sun and temperature fall, and realize that in just a few short months we will be walking here as husband and wife.



At those times, we do just what all the wise advice instructs us, enjoy our moments and remember that even if we end up having no flowers, it will all be ok.

The Task Ahead

Recently, D and I spent some time putting together a to-do chart for the wedding. Three hours to be exact. And we are having a somewhat simple wedding - our venue will provide a lot of things like food and even flowers - so I can't imagine how much more organizing other brides need to do.

The Knot has 136 things for me to do. Brides may have even more (I got overwhelmed and stopped checking). And when we really thought it through, most little tasks seem to have several deadlines - for example for vendors we have to (1) research vendors, (2) contact ones we like, (3) then book the one we want.

We have an Excel spreadsheet as well as a written calendar, and both will be getting a lot of use.

I always feel better after I tackle a big project like this - but in this case I was half laughing and half crying when I realized how much we have to do in the next 8 months...

I think what makes it harder is the fact that we live across the state from where we are getting married, so it is a trip to go visit up there. Also, we're looking at vendors from a different pool than the area in which we live -- the Quiet Corner is served by vendors upstate, in Providence and even Boston.

Us

My fiance, D, and I got engaged in May 2009 and are planning an October 2010 wedding. D suggested starting a blog to compile some of what we learn about planning a wedding in the Quiet Corner. Hopefully this will serve as a scrapbook for us, as well as a source of advice for future Quiet Corner Brides. It's also a good project for me as I transition from my old job as a lawyer and search for my path in life.